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Our Very Special CNY Hospital Feast
Poor Hubby asked the most practical question possible:
Hubby: “Then how ah? CNY meals?”
Aunty lying in hospital, leg awaiting surgery, reunion dinner stranded in the fridge…
💡 BRILLIANT IDEA.
“Hospital food court open, right?”
“DABAO LOH!”
And so, while other families were sitting around their reunion tables with all the festive goodies…
Poor Hubby and Mama had to make do with whatever was available from the hospital food court.
Meanwhile, somewhere out there…
Shark fin! Abalone! CNY feast!
And somewhere inside Aunty's fridge at home…
SIX COURSES WAITING FOR THEIR FAMILY TO COME BACK.
I can already imagine Hubby looking at his packet of chicken rice:
Hubby: “This is our CNY dinner?”
Aunty: “Got chicken what. Very festive.”
Mama opening her fishball noodles:
Mama: “Abalone leh?”
Aunty: “Round round also mah…”
And Aunty herself?
Lying in hospital feeling very clever because CNY Catering Department had been successfully outsourced to the food court.
When Pills Outnumbered My Meals 💊
Days passed.
And slowly, hospital life settled into a routine.
Medication.
More medication.
Another little cup of pills.
Then somebody appeared with…
more pills.
After a while, I swear I was taking more pills than I was eating proper meals.
Now, you all know Aunty.
Food is VERY important.
I can tolerate being stuck in bed.
I can tolerate Nurse telling me, “Aunty, cannot.”
I can even tolerate my own leg joining the opposition party and telling me, “Aunty, also cannot.”
But hospital food…
Aunty lifted the lid.
Looked inside.
Paused.
Sighhhhhhh.
Of course, hospital meals have an important job to do. They aren't there to win a food award or make Aunty shout, “WAH! ADD ONE MORE BOWL!”
But when your daily entertainment already consists of staring at the ceiling, taking medication and negotiating with one uncooperative leg…
makan becomes a VERY important event, okay!
Some people in hospital wait eagerly for the doctor.
Some wait for visiting hours.
Aunty?
“Lunch coming already or not?”
And then lunch arrived.
Aunty opened it.
……
“Orh.”
One Hour Of Freedom… And Aunty Had Plans
Once I was well enough, we were sometimes allowed to go downstairs for an hour — provided a family member accompanied us.
So whenever Hubby or my daughter came to visit, the negotiation would begin.
“Aunty, one hour ah. Must come back.”
Okay, okay.
Then came the dangerous sentence:
“Your time starts now.”
“WAIT WAIT WAIT!”
“One hour not enough!”
“You want to go where?”
“Food court loh.”
“One hour not enough to eat?”
HELLO.
Normal person maybe enough.
Aunty got buffet leh. 🤣
Chicken rice.
Japanese set meal.
Char kway teow.
Curry chicken.
Wanton mee.
And you give me ONE HOUR?!
What do you expect me to do?
Drive-by makan?! ♿💨
After days of hospital food, that food court wasn't a food court anymore.
It was Disneyland.
Aunty had one hour of freedom, one wheelchair, one accompanying relative…
and approximately five meals worth of ambition.
Hubby or Daughter probably thought their job was to accompany the patient downstairs.
Wrong.
They were the pit crew.
“Quick! Next stall!”
♿💨💨💨
The Human CCTV Under My Bed 👀
One morning, another patient and I were chit-chatting.
She was like me — also warded over Chinese New Year.
Then she suddenly had an idea.
Patient: “Actually hor… how nice if we cut off our identification strips, take a bus home, then later come back.”
Aunty considered this very seriously.
“Good idea! You can lah. You can walk.”
Then I looked at my own situation.
One working leg.
One very uncooperative leg.
“I one-legged pirate, HOW?!”
We were happily discussing our completely unauthorised CNY escape plan when suddenly—
A voice came from…
BELOW MY BED.
😳
“Staff! Got patient trying to plan escape!”
WAH PIANG EH!!!
I nearly jumped out of bed.
Well…
I couldn't.
LEG SAID CANNOT.
Then this man actually crawled out from underneath the bed next to mine.
CHEY!
Maintenance guy!
He had been underneath there checking something on the bed while the two of us were upstairs planning The Great CNY Escape.
He looked at me and smiled.
Maintenance guy: “Aunty want to go shopping ah?”
Aunty:
“GO AWAY LAH. YOU HUMAN CCTV.”
And that is why one should always check underneath one's hospital bed before discussing confidential escape plans.
You never know when the hospital surveillance system is wearing maintenance uniform. Human CCTV, battery not included!
*P.S. Actually, patients could request permission to go home for a few hours and return within an agreed time. But there we were, two aunties happily plotting our own Great CNY Escape!
Continue to the Next Post →
Hospital Diaries — Part 3: Laughter Behind the Ward Curtains
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